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Laudnum

About Laudnum

Let us begin at the beginning. As much as possible, remove from your mind all blame and accusation, just remembering when the first opiates or pain pills reached your brain. Many will identify that the first opiates were given by a Physician or a Dentist to treat a medical or surgical illness. Some veterans will have had a first exposure to opiates in Viet Nam. Focus your mind on the first experience of opiates that you remember. Search for the sensations you felt. Did you experience a dreamlike state of contentment? After a time examining these memories, consider how your experience of the effect of the opiates on you changed. Over time, did you find that you needed opiates just to feel normal? Reflect upon your increasing need for opiates, and, the escalating doses you used, including your thoughts at the time of why the increased dose was medically justified. Reflect upon your first awareness of feeling “drug sick”. For many, the experience of being drug sick will not have been immediately recognized as being caused by the absence of opiates. Many will remember thinking that their initial impression was that they were experiencing the prodromal period or initial symptoms of Influenza or “Flu”. Some will remember that upon first feeling drug sick, that they did not have access to any more opiates, and, therefore, underwent detoxification without medical assistance. Some will remember that their thoughts were consumed with a powerful craving for opiates. Examine your memories from this early period of using opiates particularly of how you felt when opiates were coursing through your body? As you remember the experience of first craving and then of using opiates, recall your decision that you made about your relationship to drugs. Did you make a clear decision to pursue drugs? What was your plan? How did you plan to satisfy your craving for opiates? How important to you was your decision to never get "Drug Sick"? How were you planning to get the money for your pursuit of drugs? Examine your memory for how you felt when using opiates during this early period. As you remember the experience of using drugs and the craving for drugs you felt, recall your decision that you made about your relationship to drugs. Did you make a clear decision to pursue drugs? What was your plan? How were you planning to get the money for your pursuit of drugs?